Ok

 "I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." Psalm 27

The x-rays from today's appointment showed that Mary Graham's cast was not correcting the curve in her back, it is still very rigid and stiff, and at about 50 degrees. So, they took off the cast. These were not the results we were hoping for, but I am thankful that I can hold and enjoy her again for the next few months "cast free," at least until her hip surgery. Already, she is SO much happier without it on. She is scheduled to have hip surgery January 19th and will be in a cast for about 8 weeks after that. We hope that this will improve the quality of her hips. We could have done it sooner, but decided to take a few months off to enjoy the holidays.

We are now faced with some tough decisions about her treatment for her scoliosis. First we will go to our pulmonologist to see how her lungs are developing and then get his opinion on whether to put a growth rod on her ribs or fuse the 4-5 vertebrae on her spine that are curved. The lung growth and development is most important right now. We plan to research these options and seek other opinions too. Because of the difficulty of her type of congenital scoliosis, the progressiveness, and her stiff back, it will be hard to ever have a straight back and grow normally.  But we remain hopeful in our God that can move mountains.

The book Jesus Calling today said, "If you focus on the obstacle and trying to remove it, you will probably go off course....instead focus on Me, the Shepherd." Then, the verse above was the verse of the day on biblegateway. I read this verse while sitting in the waiting room at the orthopedist office today for Mary Graham's follow up appointment and I knew......God prepared my heart then for what we were going to hear. This was one of the first verses I read when this journey with our then 8 week old baby began. Then, I thought it to mean, wait for test results....wait for healing...wait for appointments...wait for surgeries....wait for peace. Now, it still means those things but also it means much, much more....wait for Jesus. He really is the only thing worth waiting for and we hope to remain confident in His goodness. We have already seen it throughout this journey.

It was a very long day yesterday, a lot more to process and comprehend about MG's future. Honestly, I had not really known what to pray at that point. But later in the night, when I had some time to process my thoughts. The only word that I could really speak to God was "ok." Acceptance. No matter what. This is hard. But we will strive to just accept what God has laid before us and move forward. I am truly just focusing on the present. The future is where the fear lies, but the "dailyness" is much easier to tackle, because of the grace given.....daily grace. When I truly am focusing on Him and his light, this world and all of Mary Graham's issues seem to grow dim. These words were on my mind all day...

Turn your Eyes upon Jesus
Look full in his wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace

There is much to be thankful for....please continue to pray for wisdom with decisions, her growth, upcoming surgeries and for our focus to remain in Him alone.
Thank you again for coming along in this ever-changing journey, as I know your lives are very full as well. We are always grateful for those of you praying for us and Mary Graham.

Solid ground

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, and today and forever." Hebrews 13:8


Mary Graham has really adjusted well to her cast, especially these last few days. I have actually seen some smiles and we have been venturing out a little more. She is agitated and uncomfortable at times, but who wouldn't be? Overall she has been a real trooper these last few weeks and we are so thankful for your prayers for her. Next Tuesday (October 18th) we go for a one month follow up appointment with the orthopedist. Many scenerios have played through my mind about what to expect, but I honestly don't know. I think he will do x-rays with the cast on and we will see if she has made any positive progression with her spine. If not, maybe he will leave it on longer, or schedule to take it off, or replace it.....like I said, I just don't know. Since the doctor said that he is doubtful the cast will correct her scoliosis, I am anxious.

These last few weeks have seemed like a bit of a fog. But slowly I am beginning to see His light brighter than before. It is always hard going through darker days, but then His radiance is so much more beautiful coming out and I gain a better perspective. 

Feelings and emotions can be consuming....they are not reality....but controlling at times. So I have tried to return to the unchanging truths I know, even if I didn't really feel like it, trying not to base everything on whether we have a good day or not. Isn't that just life no matter what the circumstance? Thank goodness God remains the same, as we go up and down. The verse above has appeared many places this week and then I happened upon the second verse of the song "On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand," and have been listening to it ever since. God knows our needs and he provides.

We ask you to please continue to pray that the cast is healing her back. But also please pray that God will prepare our hearts and minds for whatever the doctor says. Since Christ is the same everyday, we want to put our faith in Him, not in what may or may not occur at appointments such as these. Pray for us to stand on Solid ground, not sinking sand.

Thank you again and again for the prayers, meals, cards, emails, (many from people I do not even know)....I am deeply moved and forever grateful.

When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

I'm so thankful she can now fit in the baby bjorn, as in the picture, it has been hard finding ways to "tote" her around. Her legs do not go very far apart due to her hip issues, but now that she has grown, they can go just far enough apart to put her in this.

Thank you for the prayers!