Today we went for a follow up appointment with the orthopedist. This appointment was originally supposed to follow her MRI, which did not happen in June, but we went today to gain more insight from the orthopedist. It seems as though these appointments are not following in order as they should, but I'm trying to trust that God is truly ordering our steps in this process, because it is getting more and more complex.
To sum up the appointment (I will do the best I can to explain this clearly, although some of it is confusing for me, so bear with me) they did further xrays and found that her scoliosis has progressed in the last two months. The doctor is concerned because she is so young and it's progessing rather quickly, as this can begin to affect other organs, and surgery may be the next option for her. He is going to begin speaking with his partners in the practice and making several calls this week to Boston and St. Louis to other very experienced orthopedists for guidance in her condition and we would most likely go elsewhere for the surgery. He mentioned the option of placing a growing rod in her back as one of the surgeries that could help stop the progression as she grows. We should expect to hear from him in a few days. Also, her hip dysplasia is significant, meaning both hips are dislocated and her joints are rigid so they do not easily bend or move as an average infant's hips would. At this time, he's not sure whether these hip issues can be treated. But, he said most infants can adapt and learn to crawl and walk with some delay in this skill even with this condition. Again, these are things we won't know for a while.
The orthopedist said this plan could all change once we have the MRI and learn about those results. The spinal MRI will look more closely at the soft tissue and muscles surrounding the spine. If there is a spinal condition that requires surgery, we will go down that path with the neurosurgeon. If there is no spinal condition, we need to narrow down the disease/condition that Mary Graham has so the doctors have a clearer plan of how best to treat her.
So, we left today with a lot more "what ifs" and seeing all the different turns that this could take us, but still no definitive answers. Honestly, trusting God becomes all the more difficult on days like this, to not hold on or analyze every word the doctor said, try and make sense of it and process it in my mind. What does her future hold? I looked down tonight at a piece of paper sitting on my counter with the verse in Genesis my kids are learning at summer day camp..."God looked at everything He had made, and it was good." Again, I try and return to His word, His goodness and promises. Ugh......but my emotions go in the opposite direction.
Earlier this week I read about burdens being a blessing. I always have just thought of the pleasant things as blessings, not something in my life that was hard. This was the quote from Frederick Faber "No matter how overwelming, any burden God has loving placed with His own hands on our shoulders is a blessing." So, this burden, our burden, God has given to us out of love. And because it is given by Him, it really is a blessing, because He is good.
As I type these words, I feel His peace, even though I don't understand and even if I am squinting to see His goodness today. I pray that we would see the blessings, the good and the bad, in all of this, especially on days like today, because more uncertainty will come.
Please continue to pray for a hopeful diagnosis and healing for Mary Graham and her upcoming MRI on July 21st.
Her precious smile brings me great joy throughout the day and thought I should share it with you. She is a blessing....thank you so much for praying.
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