The journey

God has chosen a path for me, not one i'm always going to like, but this is where I am.....a wife of an amazing husband and mother of three precious children, ages 5, 3 and 4 months, which I love and wouldn't change for anything. God has chosen to use my children to teach me the most and and here is where I'll begin....

 Our second daughter was hospitalized with a serious infection at 3 weeks old that brought my husband and me to our knees. Not to go into great detail, but she was very sick after bringing her to the ER where she was in shock and the doctors were baffled about what could be wrong with her. She began having seizures, kidney and liver problems and her EEG showed brain damage. After almost 2 weeks in the ICU, the doctors didn't know what else to do and said she wasn't getting any better. But the prayers of many were heard and God healed her. Never before had I been so fearful and uncertain, and yet, never before had I seen God so clearly either. "Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness, the utter darkness, and broke away their chains. Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind,  for he breaks down gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron." Psalm 107. God showed me this verse and it will forever be what I praise him for when I look at her.

Never had I been so shaken and clung to God more. My perspective in life truly changed for the better. At times, after she was better and home and doing so well and life got back to normal, I almost envied those dark days when I was so close to the Lord. Envied the dark days? But did I really want to go back there? When my path is calm and peaceful I tend to depend more on myself, not on God, and as hard as it was, I can finally say I am thankful for that trial.

Well, that wasn't the end of the journey for me. Honestly, I have thought, we have done our time, had our rough patch, now things can just go about how I have planned with my family. Thank you very much. But as I get older and see what more we are faced with, and those around me suffering, I'm realizing it's only the beginning of a story. A story where I'm going to try and let Him write the rest.