8 years and Tallahassee



Eight years ago today, Lee and I said "I do"...although sometimes it seems like it should be eighteen years :) I mean that in a completely good way.....I hardly remember what it was like to not be married to him. God blessed me with an amazing man and I'm so thankful for him. I was reading back in my prayer journals from when I first met Lee and I prayed so many times, "dear Lord, please let Lee call me"...I remember seeing him for the first time when he picked me up for our blind date (which I wasn't not excited about, how many blind dates work out?!). When he came to the door, I immediately thought, I think I'm gonna like this guy and I did.

It's fun to think back to that time in our lives and how I love him even more today than I did on our wedding day. I kind of laugh when I look at this picture and see how in my mind I know I was planning our future, how I wanted it to look, how I thought it would look....but God had other plans, and His plans are better. When I look back over the last eight years, this journey has not been easy. But God has protected our marriage through all the ups and downs, and it has had many opportunities to be attacked....I would never want to go through any of these eight years without Lee by my side. He is a Godly man, a great father and devoted husband....if you know him, you know that he really is just that great. He is the best person for me. This is the verse inscribed on his wedding band and I continue to pray this....
^" I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
Philippians 1:3-5
Happy Anniversary Lee, I love you!

Also wanted to share about our visit to Tallahassee this weekend where Lee's family lives. We had not been able to go visit with all MG has been through, but now was perfect timing. The best part was getting to go to the Sheppard's church on Sunday and bringing Mary Graham with us. How do I begin to thank this church and all the precious people I was able to meet, many for the first time, who have been so devoted to praying for her. I had so many come up to us and just tell me they have been praying, praying everyday for Mary Graham. When people don't know what to do or say to us right now, just telling me that you are praying is more than enough. We thank each of you for taking the time to pray for MG and God hears yours prayers and I believe he is going to do great things, He already has. Thank you for standing in the gap for us when we haven't know what to pray or even how to pray. I just read the verse in Luke on our way home, "Jesus spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart." It is easy to lose heart, so please do not cease praying. God is greater than all of our circumstances. We are honored and grateful for your love for us.

Summer, Loftin and Confessions

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Hebrews 12

So, summer began for us over two weeks ago and it has been kind of crazy......without boring you with the details, every child has been to the doctor, some more than once and ended with MG throwing up all over the waiting room floor of the after hours clinic. But, everyone seems to be on the mend and we have actually had some fun this last week. It was quite a slap in the face way to "ease" into summer with three kids home for three months. (I know some of you mommas can relate). Right before it all began I was thinking about true daily living as I looked at my calendar full of things to do this summer. My prayer is that I will live each day, enjoy each day, or rest in the fact that God will grant me grace to get through the harder days. Well, week one was quite the test :) This week then began with me getting the stomach bug, yay...hoping our sick days are behind us now for a few months.

MG was having a great deal of right leg and hip pain, mainly after being examined by the doctor for a possible UTI. However, after seeing the orthopedist, having xrays, and talking with the folks at CHOP about a possible MRI, CT, etc (maybe in Philly) she has actually gotten much better and her pain has improved. In fact, I feel like the last two weeks she has been happier than she ever has been.....I'm SO thankful, we did not want to do more scans right now, we did not want to go up to Philly right now, and we did not want her to be in pain....so we have just prayed for the pain to get better, and it has. We praise God that none of this has to occur right now and we are praying she continues to improve up until we go at the end of July to CHOP for her first expansion surgery. She has gotten stronger and is sitting up unassisted for longer periods of time. We are so thankful, that despite these setbacks, she is making some progress since her surgery. I have some video of her I will post soon.

I confess over the last month of letting everything sink in from what our neurologist told us, I have been researching and researching. Trying to figure out things on my own...trying to have the control. But where has that left me, fearful and sometimes hopeless. Loftin said to me the other day, "Mommy, it's really hard to believe in God because I can't see him...how can He be real?" (Talk about a loaded question)......I just looked at him and said "I know, it is hard." That's not all I said, but I could relate to his little 6 year old mind. He wants to see what he is believing, don't we all? He also confessed to me this month "I really think I love Star Wars more than God" and his face showed that he wasn't even sure he should have said that outloud. I told him that God loves him much more than Star Wars and left it at that. Again, I was reminded that I have no control over any of my children, really only God does. Although Lee and I laughed and thought maybe we should cut back on the star wars :) But honestly, it was a good moment for me to surrender this control over to Him. I love that Loftin is asking these questions, thinking more deeply about our Lord and challenging me to think more deeply also. My prayer has always been that my children would grow to love the Lord. But, I must surrender every day these children that He has given us to love and raise and train and grow the best we can....and then surrender again and again.

The verse above has followed me around the last few years, especially while pregnant with MG, God showed it to me so many times and I had written it down several times too. Looking back, there is so much God was revealing to me during that time, preparing me, that I am just now realizing and I hope to share someday. But the words "for the joy" have always been my favorite. Jesus knew he would endure the cross, but he did it anyway...for us....for the joy set before him. And that joy, I believe, belongs to us too. Especially on the days when I am sad, fearful, weary, losing heart about the future, God brings me back to that joy. The joy that there is nothing in this world for me, the joy that our only hope is in Christ, and the joy that we don't even know about yet. He is the one that is the author and perfecter of our faith, just as I see him beginning to work in little Loftin's heart, He is chiseling away at mine too.....sometimes more than I wish. But, although painful, I know it is good. Especially in a world where so many are suffering, and I have seen it more and more around me these days.....God is at work.

Thank you for continuing to pray for MG and our family....please pray for her growth and development, for her upcoming surgery in July, for us as we wait for more tests results and learning more about her muscular dystrophy. Pray also for daily surrender. Happy Summer!