Thursday, August 25, 2011

Cast and Clinging

Mary Graham will have her cast procedure on September 22nd. Please pray for a smooth procedure, the anesthesia and for it to be successful in stopping the progression of her scoliosis or even improving it. We will spend one night at Children's and learn how to care for her with the cast. This will be a new adjustment for all of us, I am anxious. Please pray that she adapts quickly.

The last few weeks have had their ups and down, at times full of frustration in communicating with doctors. This is a learning process, as we try to be the best advocates for Mary Graham. It can be overwelming and we often feel uncertain about our decisions. And I find myself trying to carry this load again. Then today, both my devotion books were the same story of Abraham's amazing trust in the Lord with his son, Issac. In fact, the first words of the book "Jesus Calling" say, "Entrust your loved ones to Me; release them into My protective care. They are much safer with Me than in your clinging hands." I want to cling. But she is best in His hands. There is nothing more difficult than to fully trust God with your children. God says in Hebrews that "Abraham obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going." So even in the confusion and unknown, we must move forward and trust. Please pray for greater trust in Him alone.

Today in the car, I heard my 5 year old, Loftin, say from way back in the van, "Mommy, Mary Graham is smiling at the sun." Immediately, my eyes welled with tears because I suddenly pictured her smiling at the Son, at Jesus. It was such a sweet moment that God allowed me to see His goodness and know that He has her in his hands and how thankful I am......He is clinging and she is smiling.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

We are so grateful for your prayers and we know He can move in mighty ways.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Press On

"Press on" were the first words that came to mind after I hung up the phone with our genetics doctor today.  She took her time to talk to me and try and answer as many questions as she could. She had received the urine results and most of the urine analysis seemed normal, except for a few "bands" (whatever that means) that were abnormal, which could be caused by several different factors. But we are very thankful for some of it being normal. However, she has ordered the urine test again....yes, again. It took us many attempts to get this the first time until they finally got it during her MRI, so we will probably wait until her cast is put on and she is under anesthesia to have it drawn again. Furthermore, our genetics doctor wants to have a chromosome panel test to look more closely at MG's genetic makeup and these results can take over a month to come back. 

We are still awaiting the date set for Mary Graham's cast, which we should know next week. Our orthopedist wants to review all the results, MRI, etc. and then move forward with the cast.

So, we will just press on and wait some more and pray for good results. Please pray for the urine test again, the chromosome tests, the cast, and very importantly, for MG's growth. She is very small and although she has grown, she is hovering around her same weight for a while now.

Honestly, although days like today can make me very weary, I am hopeful and calm. I have come to accept the waiting.....I can rest during these times, and it is refreshing to just go about life as normal. But it's speaking with the doctors that brings it all back to reality again. The story of when Jesus calms the storm has been on my mind this last week as I have been listening to that song, Be Still my Soul. In fact, I was looking it up last night and it didn't take me long to find it, there was a random piece of a sticky note right on the story in my bible, like it was already marked for me. I have no idea where it came from. However, I do not believe this was random, God is in the details. God's power in this story, the waves and winds obeyed....He calmed the storm by just speaking, just His voice. Every line in this song is amazing, but the second verse has struck me more lately...."be still my soul, the wind and waves still know, still know. His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below."

His power remains. His faithfulness remains. His voice remains. And I must remind myself of these truths daily when the doubts come. There is much to be thankful for....please continue to pray for Mary Graham's healing. We are so grateful for your prayers and encouragment.

Here is a youtube video of Be Still My Soul with the lyrics:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9zHn4QSH-8

Sunday, August 7, 2011

A pretty cool story

Yesterday I took Mary Graham to the pulmonologist in order to check on a spot found on her left lung during the MRI. My pediatrician had not been too alarmed by this and said since she wasn't showing any signs of congestion, it was probably nothing. Nonetheless, he wanted to have it checked since babies with scoliosis can have respiratory problems. We prayed that the spot would be gone, and it was....praise God! MG is going to continue to see the pulmonologist, which I don't mind, because her doctor happens to be a good friend from sunday school, Grace. Grace is wonderful and it is always nice to be seen by someone I know amidst all these doctor appointments.

Here is the cool part....
We were called to the nurse triage area first to have Mary Graham's weight, height, bp, etc. done by a young, sweet nurse. As I'm sitting there with MG in my lap, another older, "grandmotherish" nurse was on her computer next to us. She turned around and was talking to me and MG and asking if she was always so happy. The nurses were both saying that most babies are crying when they have all that done and I told them that Mary Graham is a sweet, content baby most of the time. I was just about to tell them about her health issues, but got distracted as the nurse was trying to take her BP. Then, quietly I heard the older nurse whispering and I looked over to see that she was looking right at Mary Graham....she had lifted both hands towards MG and was saying "Jesus, Jesus...thank you Jesus"...she whispered some other things too that I couldn't hear..... she was praying for her. It was then that I told her that Mary Graham had been through a lot in her little life, about the scoliosis, her hips and genetic testing we are awaiting. Right then another patient came in and the older nurse began helping him. But a few minutes later before we were done, I caught her eye again and she looked me in the eye and whispered to me "it's going to be okay, she's going to be okay." My eyes welled up....I wanted to run to her, burst into tears and say "do you really think she will be okay?" but I just mouthed "thank you" and went on to our room. I never saw her again after that.

So, take that for what it's worth, but I am certain that God placed me there purposely at just the right time. Not that I think that nurse has some spiritual insight or anything crazy like that....to me it was just a sweet moment of God's sovereignty over all of our lives, step by step, moment by moment. Maybe that nurse does that with all the patients that come through, I don't know....but I do know that her prayers were heard and I praise God for moments like these in the midst of this uncertain journey.